The recent and sudden death of Judy Wang has set off an amazing string of tributes from Missoulians - including a planned candlelight vigil on Wednesday, 7pm, at the Memorial Rose Garden on Brooks and Mount. The Missoulian, perhaps, posted the best tribute yet, a reprint of a 1999 editorial Wang penned on domestic violence, the subject of her life's work:
I am horrified and saddened by recent domestic violence homicides in our communities.
In Superior, a mother was hunted down by her husband and killed while she was at work. A Butte woman tried to get a divorce from her husband for more than two years. Even though she had an order of protection prohibiting him from contacting her, her estranged husband found her in Missoula, and shot and killed her along with her companion.
Domestic violence is not a hopeless problem, despite the recent tragedies in our community. There is hope for domestic violence victims, offenders and our communities.
Wang's death coincided with President Obama declaring October "National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, 2009," in which he shows deep understanding for the plight of the abused:
To effectively respond to domestic violence, we must provide assistance and support that meets the immediate needs of victims. Facing social isolation, victims can find it difficult to protect themselves and their children. They require safe shelter and housing, medical care, access to justice, culturally specific services, and economic opportunity....
In the best of economic times, victims worry about finding a job and housing, and providing for their children; these problems only intensify during periods of financial stress....Victims of violence often suffer in silence, not knowing where to turn, with little or no guidance and support....
Overcoming this isolation is one of the greatest hurdles to overcoming domestic violence, yet, sadly, it's often the aspect of the problem that's never discussed. The victims of domestic violence suffer not only blows from their abusers, but they too often face disdain or contempt from family and friends in a community that perversely stains them with as much shame as their abusers, faulting them either for tolerating the abuse, or not suffering in silence like a proper spouse. Those looking to leave an abusive relationship often have no place to turn, no one to help them leave, and no understanding of their experience. And, too often, the only person a victim can turn to for affection and understanding is the abuser himself, and thus the cycle of violence repeats.
That's why it's so critical to have a place where abused women can go and find shelter, understanding, compassion, and a place where they can reassemble their lives and childrens' lives. In Missoula, that place is the YWCA, which offers "safe shelter, crisis counseling and support for survivors of domestic and sexual violence..." including a 24-hour hotline.
But programs like the YWCA don't operate on their own. They require help, and lots of it. If you were a friend of Judy Wang's, or you're hearing about her for the first time, and you're moved by her sudden death and concerned about the vacuum her death will leave, you can do something for the cause that was central to her work.
I sent YWCA communications director Caitlin Copple a note asking her how folks could help out, and here's her response:
The YWCA holds volunteer advocate training twice a year. It's a 45 hour training that allows volunteers to answer our 24 hour crisis line and work in the shelter. We have lots of other, less time-consuming ways for folks to get involved as well. We always need people to teach Life Skills courses for the women in our programs. We have lots of board sub-committees which need volunteers (such as building, personnel, marketing, fundraising, and finance). We need people to make dinner for our weekly support groups on Tuesdays. There is always yard work and maintenance needs at our shelter and housing apartments. The families in the Gateway program (45-day stays at the Southgate Inn for the homeless) need microwaveable meals and toys and games for the kids. The YWCA recommends anyone interested in plugging into our opportunities first attend an awareness tour (sign up at our web site) so they can learn about the programs and needs.
If you're not in Missoula, please look up your local shelter and groups that combat domestic violence, and see what you can do. In the meantime, help combat domestic violence in everyday life by offering the survivors of abuse, not your judgment, but your help. |
