Tester Calls for Mercer's Resignation

Way to go Jon! (0.00 / 0)

YEAH!

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by: qbert @ Thu May 03, 2007 at 02:50:11 AM UTC

SuperPoser Brah... (0.00 / 0)

Way to call out the poser JT!

Mercer's bogusality and his dying street cred reminds me of this story about my homeboy Elroy-from-down-the-way...

Like to hear it, here it go:

Homeboy posin-ass Elroy-from-down-the-way was slangin all kindza game bout rockin the ski patrol and freestyle gigs both at the same time.... although broseph wasn't gettin the same kinda green Mercer was rollin in...

Homebrah claimed not only to be the rippinest shredder on the hill --bridger brah-- but that he was like the UberShred for double-rockstar action in both circuits. We, like the big JT, gave the doubtful bennefit for awhile... then the brewskis, deep pow, and skunkachron wore off one day...

Turns out, by season's end, homeboy couldn't do either jobs right... Homebroh got Disqualified from the wednesday-night freestyle circuit for pullin too many super-daffy's, ultra-twisters, and backscratchers, and no inversionation.  The mediocrity got his ass the boot that night... they eeeeven cut brah out of the Super-Circle... which hadn't been done since sweezle-smiley from Aspen narked out the team back in '72.

The veeeeeeeery next day brah, homebrah's workin patrol and some big lady had a stroke on him.... but like ON him.

She was veerin from one far side o the slope... then slooooowly tiltin back in a snowplow toward the other... breathin all heavy andu wheeeezin like somethin FIERCE!!

Anyway, Ole Elroy-from-down-the-way was in the rockstar Patroller duds, slangin game on some fly boarder chickadees on slopeside like, "so you hotties ever seen one-a these CB radios at work? Takes a real shreddin-ass bad-boy like myself to work one-a these... watch..."

Just as my-man was like "so anyayou ladies ever see a movie called smokie-and-the-bandit... it's got allota these.." the Big Birtha came from behind and crashed right into my home brah... knocked his ass out cold and layed right on top of him like a beached snow-whale.  I was up on the Nose shreddin some grind and I heard this super stank "AAAAAAAAURRRRRRHHHHHHHH!!!!!" echoing off the bridgers... The Humanity was soooooo INTENSE brah... (hold on, I gotta hit one real quick to calm my chee...)!!

There we go...

So hombrah-from-down-the-way was flattened, couldn't get up, and the girls ended up performin CPR on him after the three of them rolled the lady off.  When he woke up.. he was sooooo shocked... everyone knew he was like the Soooooooooper Poser brah. 

And that ole Big Birtha was stilla kickin andu wheezin...

The chickadees gave her CPR and saved her life, while Uberpozer worked the masculinity-radio... his hours were numbered.

The lady lived, but homebrah's rep died right there on the slope.

That's probably how Mercer feels right now.  He is the SuperPoser. This thing is gonna sit on his ass like that beached snow whale smothered my ex-homebrah Elroy-from-down-the-way, and no one's gonna come by to revive his ass.  Maybe Rove'll visit with a kissy kissy and some christian reacharound for good times sake... but no resucitating homebrah's street cred. It's dead.

Swear that story happened just like I said...

Word. I gotta jet and go burn one homes.

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by: jimbrah @ Thu May 03, 2007 at 03:28:32 AM UTC