| Over at a loopy reactionary forest-management-related blog (vive la Internet!), on a post that uses Senator Larry Craig's bathroom hookup as an example of the "Moral Collapse of the USA," which the site then blames for the recent forest fires, or something (you gotta read it), Montana state senator Dave Lewis makes a guest appearance in the comments:
As a Republican state senator in Montana and as a human being, I am offended by Senator Craig's existence. Why oh why are most of the perverts that get caught Republicans? Are there more of them or are they just stupid? The thought of a US Senator chasing love in all the wrong places makes me think longingly of the Ayotollahs in Iran. They would just kill the turkey.
Yeah, that's it. Let's turn the United States into a fundamentalist theocracy. That'll keep our Republican Senators from blowing strangers in public bathrooms.
But seriously, it's hard to keep track of who we're battling. Let's see: we're now in a worldwide war with Islamo-fascists who want to kill us and convert us to Islamic fundamentalism because of all the easy-livin' loose values we wallow in, which we also hate, so the terrorists are on to something, actually.
Or something. You need a frickin' scorecard nowadays to keep track of conservative phobias.
Freaky jeebus! Whatever happened to personal responsibility? Maybe Larry Craig likes to blow men he meets in public bathrooms because he's creepy, and not because of Sesame Street , peanut butter cups, and pay-per-view softcore porn. H*ll, Craig's actions weren't even all that bad, historically speaking. H*ll, Craig's actions weren't even as bad as the sh*t some Republicans pulled this year!
Personally, I like America . I'd rather take my chances that softcore porn is creating David Vitters, Larry Craigs, and Jack Abramoffs than submit to a yoke of religious fundamentalism, thank you very much.
As for why the perverts "that get caught" are Republican? Well, Dave, I've got some theories... |